Before year of the Dragon

I met a dragon right before the year of the Dragon, now how crazy is that?

We first met at the Love Actually party and honestly, all the impressions i had about him is a guy who's good at mixing, and that's it, no further, no attention, just stop there. Soon then, we started to exchange a message or two on facebook, phone number, and today, a-date-out.

He, generally speaking, is just not my ideal type, but as I'm not ideal, why would I want to bother such luxury? It all began with a phone call at the middle of the night. A text came to ask how I was doing, curiosity killed the cat, my identification call took 40 minutes and resulted in a date out today. Frankly speaking, I don't expect anything, too many failure brought the fascination of finding the right one out of me. But I gave it a shot anyway. It turned out quite nice. We spent like 4 hours to talk and share thoughts, perspectives, advices and other no name stuffs. Standing tall and stick-liked, he's mature, easy going, open minded, with sensibility and great sense of humor. A good partner for never ending conversation of all kinds. We actually found a number of common interests, mostly in entertainment. Both love Barney in HIMYM, 500 days of Summer. He likes yellow and me going for navy. I am the first child when he has older bro and sis. Both enjoy studying abroad and in the end getting a job in here. He planned to live in NZ, well soon...

Then we share our believes, our jobs, stress causes, family issues, a bit of relationship matters. Quite compatible, he seems caring, worry-free and understanding. We wrapped it up with a bowl of rice noodles in crab gravy.

There were laughs, and joys, and moments when we met the eyes.

This looks prospective but I can't tell if I am ready. I have moved on, but I don't know if I could trust my feelings again. I'm afraid that things will fall apart, that little happiness could hardly last long, afraid that high expectation comes with the risk of disappointment. Saying I want to live for the moment, but deep down feeling doubtful about the consequences. Wishing that I just leave all behind and get away from those silly sentiments, instead of facing the brick wall to be broken. Couldn't it be more lame that I'm secretly crying for a hero, though self-talking nobody else would save me but my own. Trying to be brave, just to realize how easily the mask could drop. Telling myself to resist the fantasy, yet unconsciously looking for the unreachable. Wondering if it is human's nature to be forever selfish and insecure ...

Enough with the dark, time to turn off the light. good night headaches...