Ainsi, his name is W, but I'd like to call him Hubbie, dont know why I just instantly had a good impression of this guy that instinctively made me wanna call him wit that nick name. He's fine, with an average height, specs- worn face, looks like a geek but apparently a previous dancing assistant in college years (woohoo I like that fact). Kool attitude toward anything, good communication skill with native American accent (one of the feature that set him out of the rest). Crazed at Resident Evil and Alicia Keys, good looking and friendly, though a bit calculative, but who's not in this competitive battle field world? So overall, He has 8.5 out of 10 in my skale =)
It seems our relationship has become further and further now as we go along day by day. The last Tuesday was quite memorable, about his behaviours that brought to mind wat Louise told me before... One of the sign which shows if one person has affection on you is when he/she frequently touch you, unintentionally or on purpose. Well, I cant tell which one, but it's true that we had quite a number of physical contact on that very special day. Let see, the first one was in the morning shift. We were nearly working in the same station: I was in Terrace, while he's in charge of SP. So it's sorta we bumping into each other very often. And there were countless times that he stood unusually close to me, like right behind me, so close that I could almost feel his breathe (did I think too far, man T___T) The previous day, Monday, when he told me about he employee detail form, it's the first time he tapped his finger on my right shoulder, and that kinda tickled me, I dont know. I'm not used to any kind of physical affiliation. Seldom do I hug, kiss or hold my parents' hands,let alone do it to stranger. Sometimes feel as if i'm kinda cold-blooded or emotionless. Therefore, it gave me a strange feeling, like an electric shock when his fingers touch me, I didnt shiver, but it made me wonder, and I hate wondering about nonsense stuff outside of the area I'm focusing on. Then on Tuesday, when he asked me about the form before he left at 6.30, once again, as his hand grasped my shoulder, right shoulder again,coz he's a left-handed, I was stunned, but I just didnt show it. I was afraid it'd be infatuation again. I've been in this kind of puppy crush before that it scares me every time dèja vu happens.
I'm afraid I'd be the one who make up everything, afraid I'd thought too much about something not that big a deal.... By protecting myself against any kind of heart broken affair, I put the label of infatuation on anything happening between us from now on. I dont want to think too much about it now. There would be a time for it, but not now, now I gotta concentrate in my future path, which he appears as one of the fellow on the track. I told myself so many times, yet I still think about the incident... and I keep wondering..... I dont know, will I lose myself over this new guy? Will what bro David said about him- a playboy- be true? Then i'd be the only one who gets hurt in his game .... could it turn out to be the fact?....
let see
But his eyes really hook me~~~
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
I know where to go when it feels like this
And it's right beside you....
Tired of being the black sheep (or the only swan among a herd of crows,i prefer positive image). Not gonna talk about the current situation and all that bullshit things happening around anymore, coz they'll never change, oh people's perception are always the same. Suddenly I had an urge to visit Him, and so I did. What would I do if I go home anyway... so many things on the checklist to do would have occupied my mind until bed time that I might not have time for myself should I'd come back. So I just gone with the flow...
And let my feet led me to his office...
In this well-lit, little room, I feel like home. THis is where I can truly be myself after all day long pretentiously acting as a pro. If I wanna laugh, tease, be silly, fuss around, cry, lay back, tilt my head, lean lazily anywhere... well, I wouldnt need to back off for a second to keep myself from doing what I want.. you know, that adult's world out there where everyone has to think of his face and everyone's interest before his own sake sickens me...
The fact that I dont have to watch my words, force myself smiling, let it off with those stupid fucking offensive behaviors at work, tolerate my sore fingers everytime I carry this and that and never have a supporting pat on my back... Here is my wonderland.. sometimes I wish I could be Peter Pan...
And practicing French with you is so much fun, while seeing how Chris correcting his students' assignment grammar and vocabulary so that they make sense is purely hilarious =)) I'm still concerning about your spine, but it lightened me up when everything seemed to be fine, or you're concealing it, I couldn't tell, but I love your smile and the way you look at me when you say petite Gabrielle. Those sweet words just take me away from the many hustle and bustle no-name troubles fell on my head mercilessly...
There was this group of students who brought some VN's traditional rice cake as a souvenir for you. Forget the watever taste and look that are irritating, I appreciate how you found me helpful as a translator =D. And that kinda reminded me of the time when I secretly put some snack on the lecturers' tables another day of mid autumn. I couldnt see how astonished you and the others were, but I could imagine how delightful you were when you knew it was me. And when I come back to see how nicely it was arranged next to your desk calendar, it made me smile....
Those little things can simply make me smile, no matter what's going on... no matter what hellish things might happen to me today or tomorrow....
How many man in the word can do that little thing as bringing a smile to the little girl by their side?.... You were the one, dear :)
Tired of being the black sheep (or the only swan among a herd of crows,i prefer positive image). Not gonna talk about the current situation and all that bullshit things happening around anymore, coz they'll never change, oh people's perception are always the same. Suddenly I had an urge to visit Him, and so I did. What would I do if I go home anyway... so many things on the checklist to do would have occupied my mind until bed time that I might not have time for myself should I'd come back. So I just gone with the flow...
And let my feet led me to his office...
In this well-lit, little room, I feel like home. THis is where I can truly be myself after all day long pretentiously acting as a pro. If I wanna laugh, tease, be silly, fuss around, cry, lay back, tilt my head, lean lazily anywhere... well, I wouldnt need to back off for a second to keep myself from doing what I want.. you know, that adult's world out there where everyone has to think of his face and everyone's interest before his own sake sickens me...
The fact that I dont have to watch my words, force myself smiling, let it off with those stupid fucking offensive behaviors at work, tolerate my sore fingers everytime I carry this and that and never have a supporting pat on my back... Here is my wonderland.. sometimes I wish I could be Peter Pan...
And practicing French with you is so much fun, while seeing how Chris correcting his students' assignment grammar and vocabulary so that they make sense is purely hilarious =)) I'm still concerning about your spine, but it lightened me up when everything seemed to be fine, or you're concealing it, I couldn't tell, but I love your smile and the way you look at me when you say petite Gabrielle. Those sweet words just take me away from the many hustle and bustle no-name troubles fell on my head mercilessly...
There was this group of students who brought some VN's traditional rice cake as a souvenir for you. Forget the watever taste and look that are irritating, I appreciate how you found me helpful as a translator =D. And that kinda reminded me of the time when I secretly put some snack on the lecturers' tables another day of mid autumn. I couldnt see how astonished you and the others were, but I could imagine how delightful you were when you knew it was me. And when I come back to see how nicely it was arranged next to your desk calendar, it made me smile....
Those little things can simply make me smile, no matter what's going on... no matter what hellish things might happen to me today or tomorrow....
How many man in the word can do that little thing as bringing a smile to the little girl by their side?.... You were the one, dear :)
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Yesterday was somewhat special
Talk about the 18th of Nov - The first time I got out of the crazy merry-go-round during lunch time, for which was made up by today's mad rush of 257 more than 100% full house, yeah, and I had "good time" with David, he kept moaning "Give up lah~~~" Dear mr.Smart, as if working with me was kinda his bad luck , like "unfortunately I worked w u today, wat a headache ~~~ " I dont give him a damn, knowing that he got more exp and ran more than me ;) he's good jus loves to tease me in bad manner. Besides, it's also the first time I did up-selling, man the feeling of recommending juices and guests got hooked, then skipping to the juice bar was so brilliant, tooo bad such a trainee doesnt have staff id to key in pos, I couldn't get my incentives, or else I could have ended up with an extra of at least 5$ for that lunch!!!
Back to the point, I spent a whole lunch time inside that little sweet space called Chocolate room. And hellya, that room is stuffed with sweets which really melted a sweet tooth like me. Sherelin gave me a duty of arranging all the Xmas gifts for the media parties, think of press, broadcasting channels...blah blah blah. I didnt bother think about it. What I saw was spectacular, solid pieces of chocolate were put nicely into the box in my fingers; then colorful chilling macarons; not to forget cinnamon fruit cakes and ginger breads. A great combination that represents splendidly the image of Carousel to the mass communication community!!!!! And I was the one who did it ^^ I was so loving that sweet smell, those lovely cakes, the delicacy of people who were creating each piece of art with all their heart and mind that I couldnt calm down my excitement. Felt like I'd glad to stay there for a whole 6 month - internship. Even the chief chef ask me whether I want to be a part of the pastry kitchen when he caught my big attention on every thing. I like the way he rubbed my hair when I said one of my childhood dream was to become a patisserie chef... yeah~~~ my temptation to those lovely designed cakes and confectionery will never ends LOL jus like my passion to fashion is running in my blood. Too bad I had chosen a different path of life....
The atmosphere inside that little silent serene place was jus like a dream,totally different with watsoever chaos out there, where I gotta survive in 6 months. I didnt mean the people aint nice or the job itself is insane. It just, not suitable for me... like, all of those fast pace stuff, being scolded and preached by people for things u've done ur way, no matter it's right or wrong, carrying heavy plates and hot stuff that easily make ur finger's joins sobbing in sting or almost numbness at ur feet. Sometimes jus wanna pull over everything, say one word Q.U.I.T and that's it, no more tolerate, no more restraint, feel free to express your mood and attitude, what an autonomy i'm looking for. I wish. Inconsistent and confusing instruction from different Mr and Mrs. Smart, weariness of lunatic shift hours, quarrels with a few (or to be more accurate, only one, Trái Bắp - srry, but for my own sake, better safe than sorry jus in case i might be assassinated after this post.) Only a few fellas who can truely understand me, sadly they also need space for themselves, that they cant look after me all the time. Here and there I see people taking advantage and do things for their interest but I cant raise my voice... I even feel sorry for myself, for my cowardice...
Another frustration side of what we all call reality, in an employee's eye....
Back to the point, I spent a whole lunch time inside that little sweet space called Chocolate room. And hellya, that room is stuffed with sweets which really melted a sweet tooth like me. Sherelin gave me a duty of arranging all the Xmas gifts for the media parties, think of press, broadcasting channels...blah blah blah. I didnt bother think about it. What I saw was spectacular, solid pieces of chocolate were put nicely into the box in my fingers; then colorful chilling macarons; not to forget cinnamon fruit cakes and ginger breads. A great combination that represents splendidly the image of Carousel to the mass communication community!!!!! And I was the one who did it ^^ I was so loving that sweet smell, those lovely cakes, the delicacy of people who were creating each piece of art with all their heart and mind that I couldnt calm down my excitement. Felt like I'd glad to stay there for a whole 6 month - internship. Even the chief chef ask me whether I want to be a part of the pastry kitchen when he caught my big attention on every thing. I like the way he rubbed my hair when I said one of my childhood dream was to become a patisserie chef... yeah~~~ my temptation to those lovely designed cakes and confectionery will never ends LOL jus like my passion to fashion is running in my blood. Too bad I had chosen a different path of life....
The atmosphere inside that little silent serene place was jus like a dream,totally different with watsoever chaos out there, where I gotta survive in 6 months. I didnt mean the people aint nice or the job itself is insane. It just, not suitable for me... like, all of those fast pace stuff, being scolded and preached by people for things u've done ur way, no matter it's right or wrong, carrying heavy plates and hot stuff that easily make ur finger's joins sobbing in sting or almost numbness at ur feet. Sometimes jus wanna pull over everything, say one word Q.U.I.T and that's it, no more tolerate, no more restraint, feel free to express your mood and attitude, what an autonomy i'm looking for. I wish. Inconsistent and confusing instruction from different Mr and Mrs. Smart, weariness of lunatic shift hours, quarrels with a few (or to be more accurate, only one, Trái Bắp - srry, but for my own sake, better safe than sorry jus in case i might be assassinated after this post.) Only a few fellas who can truely understand me, sadly they also need space for themselves, that they cant look after me all the time. Here and there I see people taking advantage and do things for their interest but I cant raise my voice... I even feel sorry for myself, for my cowardice...
Another frustration side of what we all call reality, in an employee's eye....
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
A night with new buddies
It's a Monday night, after work at 4.30, I ran all the way to Bishan in order to join them for badminton game. Hahha, apparently I didnt play but the fact that we had a great conversation later during dinner is brilliant!!!!
There were Shaw, Will, David and me; all of the sudden I wanted to visit their place. So they we all got off at Adjunied mrt station. It's somewhere around 6.45, peak hour that you could see people squeezed, pressed and pushed each other like a smoothie blender. We were like a tiny petite piece of rice in the sushi roll that could hardly breath, hellish congested!!!! Now I know Will's favourite kind of music is R'n'B, like Alicia Keys (If I aint got you, we were humming this melody on the train b4 it got crowded) David's is Rock and pop, Shaw's more into Chinese classic =__= We talked about so many things on Earth that I wished the night would never end.
We had dinner together in a Prata house. Will ordered himsef onion&cheese, David got banana, Shaw happily enjoyed his cheese prata and for myself I called a mushroom. I'm not a prata or anything oily person, but gotta say the banana there is not bad, though the mushroom I had would rather tasteless. Despite the food wasnt my pot of gold, the conversation between us became more and more exciting. I asked them about their experience staying in S'pore, their aspirations, their dream job, their future plans, difficulties in S'pore and so on. I also learnt some bad word from them, but damn forgot it already. They were the only one who I sneaked the secret of my fake mc, coz in me there was a strong trust built during the time we spent together that I felt as if we were old friends, so I could share watever and knew that they wouldnt betray me. I was so relieved after saying it out but they all empathized with me, no one blamed or criticized me, that's a nice behavior in a freaky way, but I'm so fine with it. From their personal point of view, I understand more about Will, a guy who used to be a dancing assistant instructor in his college days and has a passion with F&B. While David loves interaction with people and traveling.
will told me how he felt when they work to their bone, much harder than the permanent staff but still their salary is lower, it's unfair but there's nothing we can do with it, so just let it be a topic for gossiping. He's only 1 year older yet he's like a generation more grown up than me. He mentioned that the job in Carousel as a waiter is not that bad, but he didnt want to stay at that position for a whole life. There was a thing that he said which really moved me: Value. To the old staff, It's the value they perceived at the hotel that keeps them working their permanently, while to us, our perception is different,that's why the job wouldnt last long with us. Totally true that I really salute him.
Out of the job- related topics, I also know that both Will and David are the smallest kids in their family, which make me understand why they are so carefree. Yet their mindset are really admirable. Will said I'm an easy going girl, which is still something I find surprising but true. He gave me a piece of mind that, in order to improve myself at work, I'd better set a target on my own every day, i.e. remember all the fruit juice, birthday song, table numbers, capacity of the restaurant.... By that way, I'd be able to push myself, thus I have a drive to achieve new knowledge and gain experience. I really appreciate his help and think should reply it right away by today ^^
By 10 something, they sent me home at the bus stop. Now I know there was actually a direct bus from their place to my home, so convenient =) Goodnight, good guys, see you today and the following days
There were Shaw, Will, David and me; all of the sudden I wanted to visit their place. So they we all got off at Adjunied mrt station. It's somewhere around 6.45, peak hour that you could see people squeezed, pressed and pushed each other like a smoothie blender. We were like a tiny petite piece of rice in the sushi roll that could hardly breath, hellish congested!!!! Now I know Will's favourite kind of music is R'n'B, like Alicia Keys (If I aint got you, we were humming this melody on the train b4 it got crowded) David's is Rock and pop, Shaw's more into Chinese classic =__= We talked about so many things on Earth that I wished the night would never end.
We had dinner together in a Prata house. Will ordered himsef onion&cheese, David got banana, Shaw happily enjoyed his cheese prata and for myself I called a mushroom. I'm not a prata or anything oily person, but gotta say the banana there is not bad, though the mushroom I had would rather tasteless. Despite the food wasnt my pot of gold, the conversation between us became more and more exciting. I asked them about their experience staying in S'pore, their aspirations, their dream job, their future plans, difficulties in S'pore and so on. I also learnt some bad word from them, but damn forgot it already. They were the only one who I sneaked the secret of my fake mc, coz in me there was a strong trust built during the time we spent together that I felt as if we were old friends, so I could share watever and knew that they wouldnt betray me. I was so relieved after saying it out but they all empathized with me, no one blamed or criticized me, that's a nice behavior in a freaky way, but I'm so fine with it. From their personal point of view, I understand more about Will, a guy who used to be a dancing assistant instructor in his college days and has a passion with F&B. While David loves interaction with people and traveling.
will told me how he felt when they work to their bone, much harder than the permanent staff but still their salary is lower, it's unfair but there's nothing we can do with it, so just let it be a topic for gossiping. He's only 1 year older yet he's like a generation more grown up than me. He mentioned that the job in Carousel as a waiter is not that bad, but he didnt want to stay at that position for a whole life. There was a thing that he said which really moved me: Value. To the old staff, It's the value they perceived at the hotel that keeps them working their permanently, while to us, our perception is different,that's why the job wouldnt last long with us. Totally true that I really salute him.
Out of the job- related topics, I also know that both Will and David are the smallest kids in their family, which make me understand why they are so carefree. Yet their mindset are really admirable. Will said I'm an easy going girl, which is still something I find surprising but true. He gave me a piece of mind that, in order to improve myself at work, I'd better set a target on my own every day, i.e. remember all the fruit juice, birthday song, table numbers, capacity of the restaurant.... By that way, I'd be able to push myself, thus I have a drive to achieve new knowledge and gain experience. I really appreciate his help and think should reply it right away by today ^^
By 10 something, they sent me home at the bus stop. Now I know there was actually a direct bus from their place to my home, so convenient =) Goodnight, good guys, see you today and the following days
Sunday, November 8, 2009
A week from the first day...
So today is Sun, this Sunday marked 1 week and 2 days I've been a temporary employee of Carousel. So many things happened here and there, tons of tricks and advice to memorize ( have I ever told u I hate memorizing things?) But the worst part is my physical condition has been tremendously affected. Start from the bottom up, my feet are almost paralyzed every night after work. I gotta put them in hot water, massage and hang them up lyk nearly half an hour just to reduce the pain they're giving me. My shoulders and arms are all weary that i felt hardly want to wash my clothes despite they have piled up like a tower of dirty smelly clothing mountain. My right wrist still hasn't fully recovered for 3 days (c'mon 3 days without rest, what kind of holy water that can help cure it?!).
Yesterday was one of greatest moment of my life that I actually bent the rules for a revolution of human rights and needs. i didnt care about the scenario for even one minute, all i wanted to do was spending a whole day for myself, pampering, recharging. All of the sudden, I didnt wanna work anymore, I'm tired of carrying all the heavy plates and stuffs, pretending to be energetic at all times no matter how drowsy I was, keeping a tattoo smile with everyone even they treated me lyk sh*t.I hate the way people look at me and tell me what to do as if I was a moron and disabled. I hate how incompetent I an to compare with other trainee, including David, imagine he coped up with the workplace so fast and I was like a black swan in the pond. I'm careless, immature, misbehaving and not punctual almost every morning shift. I'm sick of the tight schedule that drives my life crazy. Last night, I slept at 12.30 sth and woke up 3 times every 2 hours. Not only did my room mates found annoying but I myself also hated what's going on with my normal lifestyle. I planned to work out every 2 days and now I cant do it anymore. I gotta give up my dear French class becoz of this lunatic unfixed schedule every week. Yeah, all the complaints that came out of my head, but luckily haven't come out of my mouth, I put them here, coz I cant take them anymore. OVERWHELMED!!!!!
It's not I haven't tried to improve. It's not the work too overload. It's just we both dont cross at the same junction. Hopelessly disappointed~~~
The mere happiness at work are tips here and there. A few kind and nice people around me support me now and then, whenever I'm down, hang out with me off work, bring me laugh and joy, thank all you guys. But I feel so invisible, I'm not myself anymore if I continue this job. I'm lost in the middle of an intangible cold kitchen, where people are like machines, wearing uniform, emotionless faces keep walking and working, no empathy, no passion, not a thing. I'm not use to regulations and all these strict standard, I'm not use to adapt myself under camp boot like hardship. I'm sorry about that, but the more I do, the more I wanna quit. However, I jus cant easily follow my heart as if I was the only person on earth. Responsibility, dignity, expectation, and my own pride dont let me do that silly childish thing. So I guess all I can do is lessen the trouble I would continue posing to my colleagues. I'd better pick up some useful tips to make my life less miserable, so that people can trust me and respect who I am. Thus I might find what they call passion and fun at work, as our Employee value proposition, or core value, indicates. And hopefully, would be able to be recognized for my effort and celebrate it together with the ones who appreciate my contribution and my hard work.....
That's the last thing I can hold on to keep going this deadly journey. Amen
Yesterday was one of greatest moment of my life that I actually bent the rules for a revolution of human rights and needs. i didnt care about the scenario for even one minute, all i wanted to do was spending a whole day for myself, pampering, recharging. All of the sudden, I didnt wanna work anymore, I'm tired of carrying all the heavy plates and stuffs, pretending to be energetic at all times no matter how drowsy I was, keeping a tattoo smile with everyone even they treated me lyk sh*t.I hate the way people look at me and tell me what to do as if I was a moron and disabled. I hate how incompetent I an to compare with other trainee, including David, imagine he coped up with the workplace so fast and I was like a black swan in the pond. I'm careless, immature, misbehaving and not punctual almost every morning shift. I'm sick of the tight schedule that drives my life crazy. Last night, I slept at 12.30 sth and woke up 3 times every 2 hours. Not only did my room mates found annoying but I myself also hated what's going on with my normal lifestyle. I planned to work out every 2 days and now I cant do it anymore. I gotta give up my dear French class becoz of this lunatic unfixed schedule every week. Yeah, all the complaints that came out of my head, but luckily haven't come out of my mouth, I put them here, coz I cant take them anymore. OVERWHELMED!!!!!
It's not I haven't tried to improve. It's not the work too overload. It's just we both dont cross at the same junction. Hopelessly disappointed~~~
The mere happiness at work are tips here and there. A few kind and nice people around me support me now and then, whenever I'm down, hang out with me off work, bring me laugh and joy, thank all you guys. But I feel so invisible, I'm not myself anymore if I continue this job. I'm lost in the middle of an intangible cold kitchen, where people are like machines, wearing uniform, emotionless faces keep walking and working, no empathy, no passion, not a thing. I'm not use to regulations and all these strict standard, I'm not use to adapt myself under camp boot like hardship. I'm sorry about that, but the more I do, the more I wanna quit. However, I jus cant easily follow my heart as if I was the only person on earth. Responsibility, dignity, expectation, and my own pride dont let me do that silly childish thing. So I guess all I can do is lessen the trouble I would continue posing to my colleagues. I'd better pick up some useful tips to make my life less miserable, so that people can trust me and respect who I am. Thus I might find what they call passion and fun at work, as our Employee value proposition, or core value, indicates. And hopefully, would be able to be recognized for my effort and celebrate it together with the ones who appreciate my contribution and my hard work.....
That's the last thing I can hold on to keep going this deadly journey. Amen
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